At the start of Project Success, The Helping Ourselves Experience and Pursue Success (HOPES) curriculum introduced a new skill module focused on Intimacy and Dating. The new module was added based on feedback from participants in previous HOPES cohorts and the frequency with which participants identified dating and/or intimate relationships as a personal goal. We also had conducted research on sexual interest in people with serious mental illness and found that, for the most part, providers are reluctant to broach the topic of sexuality with their clients. And, in spite of our findings that people with serious mental illness are interested in having romantic relationships, they avoid initiating conversation about sexuality with their providers. We intentionally developed curriculum that addressed both sexuality and intimacy more broadly to make it relevant for participants who may not have romantic relationships or dating as a goal but may find skills related to getting closer to someone helpful to other relationships in their lives.
The Intimacy and Dating module is situated just past the midway point of the 12-month program in order to ensure that the Communicating Effectively and Making and Keeping Friends modules are completed first. As one of our HOPES facilitators aptly observed, Intimacy and Dating is an advanced set of skills compared to the concepts introduced in earlier modules, so having an opportunity to learn and practice communication skills is an important foundation for this module. At the date of this post, 10 cohorts had completed the module. Because it was new, we elicited feedback from all HOPES facilitators and suggestions for revisions to the module. In supervision meetings, the HOPES facilitators made the following comments about future delivery of this module.
Frequently Identified Goal- It is clear that many HOPES participants identify romantic partnerships, casual and more serious dating, physical intimacy, and emotional intimacy as important areas of their lives to focus their time and energy on exploring. In Project Success, there have been many participants who have made action steps towards and had success with goals related to Intimacy and Dating. These action steps cover a wide spectrum, from taking the single step of having a conversation with a person who could be a potential romantic partner, to a plan involving multiple steps with the ultimate goal of entering a serious romantic relationship. One of the strengths of the module is that it covers multiple areas of Intimacy and Dating from “Having a Good Date”, which can build on Communicating Effectively skills to education and discussion of sexual health.
Inclusivity of Alternative Lifestyles and Cultural Differences- The start of the module is loosely structured in order to give time and space for the HOPES facilitators to engage the participants in a discussion of respect for personal preferences related to gender, romantic, and sexual identification and behavior. HOPES facilitators requested that the instructors manual include even more guidance to structure this discussion and promote a safe and inclusive class environment. We plan to incorporate some suggestions for introducing these ideas to assure that the tone is set at the beginning for respect and inclusion.
Nuances of Online Dating-The Intimacy and Dating curriculum has an entire class devoted to online dating because this has become a primary way for people interested in dating and romantic relationships to connect with one another, including people with serious mental illness.. In future curriculum editions, we plan to include additional education/skills addressing some of the nuances of online dating, such as: navigating the inherent passive communication that is often encountered in online dating (e.g., someone who stops responding to messages), the increased potential for confusion and misunderstanding when communicating virtually versus in-person, the greater challenge of discerning whether someone might be a good fit to date in person (and potentially tips for assessing the safety of an in-person meeting).
Overall, the HOPES module was well-received by both facilitators and participants and the skills relevant and useful to most individuals in the HOPES program. As noted, we included a wide variety of topics in the Intimacy and Dating module so that it would be relevant for individuals who were not necessarily interested in exploring romantic relationships The module addresses the concept of intimacy more broadly, as applied to friendships and/or family relationships. Many of the participants have expressed a desire to get closer to friends and family so the facilitators have helped support individual tailoring of role-play scenarios to align with these participants’ goals. In spite of this, there are select classes in the module, such as education about sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy that are clearly more relevant to romantic relationships so some HOPES facilitators suggested potentially making this module more of a “graduate level” course for participants who complete the other HOPES modules and identify dating and romantic partnerships as future goal. This is something we will certainly consider.
The experience of delivering the Intimacy and Dating module in Project Success has been an excellent learning experience and we continue to believe that this module fills a void that exists in the field of serious mental illness regarding sexuality and intimacy. It provides clinical staff with guidance for discussing this topic, and offers people with serious mental illness the chance to talk about sensitive issues in a safe and supportive environment.
Meghan Santos